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10 Things Men Should Do and Often Don’t (and a drug test, too)

Feb, 15, 2012 by

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This looks much like the cup I had to urinate in

It’s Wildcard Wednesday, and I’m way late with the post, but I’ve had an eventful day. After nearly two years of unemployment, I am joining the rat race once again. I’ve accepted a long-term temp-to-perm job doing exactly what I love and already do–writing online content and posting to Facebook and Twitter. I’m a pretty cheerful person so I don’t whine much, but I had started to feel a bit desperate about the financial workings of my household, and now the stress is alleviated. Plus, I get to dress casually, which is a bonus to a semi-rugged nature gal like myself who hasn’t owned a pair of high heels in three years (it is impossible to hike in heels, and they suck, anyway).

The only weird part about the hiring process was the drug test. I know, I know, it’s supposed to be standard, but it never has been the norm for me. Believe it or not, in all the years I worked in fast food, preschool, and financial institutions, I was never once asked to take a drug test. I must admit, I was caught off-guard when the admin lady handed me a small cup and asked me to urinate in it after completing my paperwork. My bladder was obviously shocked at the suggestion, too, because it took 10 minutes, a cup of water, and a stern “talking-to” in the restroom to convince it to function. I vaguely remember having similar problems during pregnancy when the check-ups required urine samples, too, and even though I became accustomed to seeing that little plastic cup frequently in those nine months, that was almost six years ago. Either way, I peed, I passed, and I start work on Monday (Feb 20th). Woo hoo!

Now on to the good part!

I have a short guest post which stems from my observation “Real Men Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans“. I should have changed the title to “Grown men should NOT wear skinny jeans”, because real men can do what they want and wear what they want. However, this does not mean I am not going to laugh at said man’s choice, and I WILL make fun of him with my friends later–because that’s my choice. No harm, no foul.

On Twitter the other night, I called for manly responses and took it a step further by asking, “Men out there, what makes a real man?”

See, I wanted an opinion from an actual man, to be more fair. Keiran Daly, website designer of Grange Web Design, in Cork, Ireland (where my sweet friend Trich Dee lives, too :-) ), stepped up and sent me a brief post.

Here is Kieran’s feedback, and he’s also responsible for what I hope is a compelling title (because compelling titles attract clicks, right?)

Enjoy!

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10 Things Men Should Do and Often Don’t

1. Brush Your teeth. Yes, every day. Women have a sense of smell, and the garlic you had at lunch just doesn’t cut it.

2. Hold the door. It may be old fashioned, but old fashioned doesn’t mean wrong.

3. Pay. If you can pay for dinner, do. If it is the first date, borrow the money from a friend. If you get to second date, tell her about first date. She will laugh–she won’t if you don’t pay on first date (and there wont be a second one).

4. Pay attention; listen more than speaking.

5. Turn up on time. She may be late, but it is a lady’s right. Be there.

6. Remember. Yes, you forgot that thing she told you. Buy a pen, and write it on your hand.

7. Buy her nice things. Oh, nice doesn’t mean expensive–just nice, thoughtful things. Books are good.

8. Dump the T-Shirt. Yes, that one. The one you love. She hates it. No, you can’t keep it for sports, painting, or gardening. She will know.

9. Dry her eyes and keep quiet. Words won’t help this time.

10. When she says its over, she means it. Hug. Leave. Send her a “thank you for everything” note (even if you don’t mean everything)

****************************************

There it is from a man, and if you want to learn more about the gentlemanly Kieran, you can visit his website, follow him on Twitter @GrangeWeb, or circle him on  G+ at Grange Web. He also wanted me to add something:  He DOES brush his teeth. I, for one, am relieved about this detail. ;-)

How about you, lovely readers? What do you think men should do more of or not do more of? Tell me in the comments.

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59 Comments

  1. OMG you were asked to do a drug test for a marketing job?! This is virtually unheard of in Australia. In fact, I’m sure most of us would consider it to be a gross invasion of privacy if we ever were asked. Not to mention there are very strict legal requirements for the use and storage of that kind of information. I’m almost certain if I was asked to do this I would refuse! And not because I do drugs, because I never have (yes, I mean never) but just because it IS a gross invasion of privacy. I’m sure only our police can do this.

    As for Kieran’s list, I agree! Although I might swap ‘shower’ for brush teeth.

    • Not swap–both. Mandatory. Daily. lol

    • Amberr Meadows

      Ciara, most jobs come with a drug test in the states. Had I refused I wouldn’t have gotten the job, so I did what I had to do. ;-)

      Also, showering, brushing teeth, and using chapstick should go hand-in-hand.

  2. Congrats on the new job! I can relate to the drug test, I’ve only been asked once in my career to take a test before getting hired. I passed of course, but it was still weird. Oh, and I agree with your list of 10 items, too!

    • Amberr Meadows

      Maria, thank you! I found it weird, because it seemed very casual. I urinated in the office bathroom for the test, but when I was pregnant, I was at the doctor’s office (seemed more natural).

  3. Congrats on getting back out in the work force! As far as what I think men should do more of? Get their hair cut by a professional. Nothing worse than to see a man walking around with a lousy haircut and hair on the back of his neck.

  4. Congratulations on getting a gem of a job! Trim those nose and ear hairs!

  5. I am not going to disagree with any one particular item on that list but another thing a man should do is not make a list of the 10 things he should do. He should just know them and do them especially when it comes to women. If you need to jot that stuff done, you have got a good 2-3 marriages lasting 3-4 years each in front of you.

    • Amberr Meadows

      LOL Martin, I just think you’re great. You always keep me on my toes and thinking about stuff.

  6. Jen

    Amen to that! x

  7. Congrats for the new job! I so agree with that list, especially number 4 :-)

  8. I might agree with most of those things on the list, but I’m too “modern” for my own good sometimes. Just this week a co-worker went on a first date and was put off when the man tried to kiss her. I was SHOCKED by my other co-workers’ responses when they told her, “He DID pay for dinner.” Like that somehow means you are required to swap bacteria at the door? But if everyone pays at different points, maybe the expectations go away?

    And congrats on the job!!! In this economy, they can have a DNA sample if it means I got the job! (I know, that was probably wrong…)

    • Ben

      I know what you’re saying Lorca! Your coworker was caught off guard but really it has nothing to do with him paying for dinner. Your coworkers were way off base on that statement.

      With that said, I feel like its old fashioned to end the evening on a first date without a kiss. In my dating years, I don’t think I ever tried to kiss a woman on the lips after a first date. Now I did a peck on the cheek a few times!

      • Amberr Meadows

        And Ben, you have always been a gentleman, my friend ;-)

    • Amberr Meadows

      Lorca, I am a blend of modern and old school, and I don’ feel like a woman should have to swap spit unwillingly just for a free meal, either.

      P.S. No doubt. I would have given a hair follicle or DNA sample just to get back into the money-making arena.

  9. Congratulations on your new job Amberr. Sounds like something I’d probably enjoy doing.

    Thanks for the connection to Grange’s Twitter account. I now follow him.

    As far as what I think men should do,here goes:
    1. Know that it’s okay to stop and ask directions.
    2. Know that it’s okay to read the directions before you put something together
    3. Learn to look at the floor in the kitchen so you can see the food that’s dropped there and you can help pick it up.
    4. If whatever you’re looking for is not on the first shelf, consider looking on the second shelf. I may have moved it and forgot to tell you.

    • Amberr Meadows

      Brenda, thank you for following Kieran and also adding to the list.

  10. Amberr,
    I forgot to ask you if it would be okay to repost Grange’s list on my blog. Thank you.

  11. Of course this could have been a “100 things…” list but I had to stop and I agree with the poster who said if you need a list the nyou are already in trouble. But it might help.

    Thanks for the kind words in the post.

    Oh and good luck with the new job, Keep blogging though. This is on my feed now – I could become a starring guest poster on “Men’s Matters”

    • Amberr Meadows

      Kieran, thank you again, and if I ever make it a real series, I’ll add you to the mix. ;-)

  12. John E.

    Great list. Now, if I could only get my hands on the, “10 Things Women Should Do and Often Don’t,” I’d be all set.

    • Can’t help there – I don’t need that happily married so no such list in existence!

    • Amberr Meadows

      John, no worries, my friend. I believe in equality, and I have something coming for the ladies. ;-)

  13. Congrats on the new job. I hope it works out well for you.

  14. My favorite t-shirt? #%!^ no. Any girl who tells me to get rid of that thing needs to hit the road, because I won’t deal with that petty horsecrap. Glad my fiance doesn’t worry about shit like that.

    Congratulations on the temp-to-perm position! That is awesome!

    • Amberr Meadows

      Rance, I’m cool with the T-shirt as long as it’s not worn on a date. Thanks for the congrats, too. I’m somewhat excited!

  15. Congrats on the job Amberr – so pleased for you! But a drugs test? I used to work in Business HR for the government and we’ve never administered them!
    Love the list too. If men did all of those things then chivalry wouldn’t be dead – I’m an old romantic at heart:)

    • Amberr Meadows

      Jane, I know. I think mandatory drug testing is BS, but they have their reasons and I was relieved to get a job. Jane, add me to Team semi-romantic. ;-)

  16. Impossible to dump THE t-shirt! Yipes, I wash it at least every 3 months for goodness sake!

  17. AG

    Congrats on the job,fantastic news! Men should also know that it is ok to put the dirty socks and underwear in the laundry basket. It isn’t going to kill you and your wife will greatly appreciate it! (Not speaking from experience or anything!)

  18. Congrats on the job!

    And the list was great, though I have to go with Ciara’s idea of adding “daily shower” to it as well.

  19. Nice post, maybe you should do a post about the 10 Ways Women Can Show Their Appreciation. Apparently and I quote that us ladies would get more if we showed ‘a bit more appreciation’. Whilst discussing your post with a male friend, he managed to twist it back to blame us ladies on men’s lack of…well you know! Lol…

    • Amberr Meadows

      No worries, Veronica, I have something coming for the ladies soon.

  20. My apologies: Congrats on your new job!x

  21. Congrats on the new job, that awesome. I had to take a test to get a job some years ago and my neighbor had to take a urine test just to apply for a construction job…everyone applying for the job did and there was only two positions open and they had to pay for the test themselves!

    I think I love that list and all the other things in the comments.

    • Amberr Meadows

      Thanks, Mary! I have another good one coming up soon ;-)

  22. Congratulations on the NEW JOB and glad that you can continue to write!!!!

  23. Congratulations on the new job! That’s exciting! But a drug test? Like why? Are you going to write while on meth or something? Could be some interesting perspectives.

    “Dump the t-shirt” O-M-G! That is SO my husband. He has 3 t’s (and they’re the same!) and he wears all the time. My son finally had to tell him to stop wearing them. Note: I accidentally just washed them with a dark red flannel shirt today. They’re now pink.

    *snort* LMAO!

    • Amberr Meadows

      Irene, your guess is as good as mine, but anyone who sees my voluptuous physique and clear complexion would know immediately to rule out meth as a possibility. That is hilarious about the pink shirt!

  24. Toby C

    This top ten seems to be naff generic blog type advice. If you said yes to a date with someone who might not brush their teeth then you need to find other channels for meeting men.

    Top 1 thing for women to do and often don’t:

    Realise that spending 100% of your spare time with someone is likely to put a premature end to any relationship. Brushing your teeth, however, is if course optional…

    • Amberr Meadows

      Toby, my husband would have never been with me without a toothbrush in his arsenal. I have a less “naff” generic list coming up for the ladies this upcoming week ;-)

      P.S. I could never be with someone who smothered me. I am somewhat introvert by nature, and too much interaction would scare me off, too.

  25. I’ve never had to do a drug test, but it seems that most companies are requiring one these days, regardless of the position. I think it is an invasion of privacy, but at the same time (since I don’t do drugs!), I’d “submit” to one, if required. Love how you had to talk to your bladder! Lol! Congrats on the job! And I totally agree with you on heels! I LOVE Kieran Daly’s list! Thanks, Amberr!

    • Amberr Meadows

      Thank you, my intricate friend! I had no problem whipping that bladder into shape for a job!

  26. Hey Amberr! Well done on the job, sounds right up your alley!

  27. Dee

    Congratulations on the job! Some day I’ll have to tell you my “stage fright” story LOL. Nice list of the Man’s man do’s and don’ts!

    • Amberr Meadows

      Dee, I am sure it’s hilarious, and I can’t wait to hear about it. Stage fright is no joke!

  28. Congrats on the new job! I don’t think I’ve ever had to take a drug test myself…Sad to say but a few places I know would probably lose most of their staff if they required one.

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